How to Feel Less Lonely
For decades, scholars and medical professionals have discussed the difference between solitude and loneliness.
While solitude is being alone by choice (perhaps to have time to self-reflect), loneliness often feels like grief over one’s lack of social connection.
Loneliness is so prevalent that some health officials have labeled it an epidemic because more people are feeling the effects of the emotion than ever before. It also can increase risks for heart disease, stroke, dementia, anxiety and depression.
In a 2022 study, only 39% of Americans reported feeling closely connected to others. Part of the reason is we:
- Have fewer close friends. People who reported not feeling lonely had at least three close confidants.
- Spend less time together. That goes for more than just co-workers and friends. According to one study, 66% of people said we spend insufficient time with our families.
- Spend too much time online. Studies find that people who use social media two hours or more per day are more likely to feel lonely than those who use it less than 30 minutes daily.
And sure, apps can enhance communication over long distances and foster supportive communities, but there's debate about the authenticity of these connections. For example, the U.S. Surgeon General warns that technology may actually diminish interaction quality and self-esteem, while others argue apps and forums are valuable social outlets.
However, it’s more complicated than just seeing people face-to-face. Some of us can feel lonely as stay-at-home parents, in unhappy marriages, if we feel left out by a friend group or even if we’re not accepted for who we are.
So, how do we feel less lonely, whether in the physical presence of others or not?
Join a group or volunteer.
Whether online or in person, joining a book club, community sports team, fan club or hobby group can foster strong connections. The same goes for volunteering, which can give you a sense of purpose. Just remember to start small, such as meeting once per month, and build from there so you don’t burn out.
Practice self-care.
One study found that 92% of women in leadership positions at work turned to negative coping behaviors such as alcohol, substance use and overspending when they felt isolated. However, a healthy diet, regular exercise and relaxation techniques like meditation can boost mood and energy.
Reach out to someone.
But consider a phone or video call rather than a text message. While a text might be faster, a call can reduce stress levels while boosting oxytocin (the love hormone) because we get to hear the voice of someone we care about.
Take a break from social media.
No more FOMO for you! Studies have found that even reducing your time online by one hour per week can increase well-being and overall life satisfaction. So, consider turning off social media notifications and setting a daily time limit for scrolling.
Above all, remember you’re not alone, and there are ways we can combat loneliness together.
Schedule an Appointment
If you’re struggling with loneliness, it might be a good time to talk with your doctor who can help you find ways to ease feelings of depression or anxiety.
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